I Re-Watched Titanic So You Don't Have To. You're Welcome.

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olegeorggraf recommended I Re-Watched Titanic So You Don't Have To. You're Welcome. from jezebel.com:

Then Theoden, King of Rohan, drives the boat into this big iceberg ("Are you calling me fat, James Cameron?" – the iceberg) and the ocean starts coming inside the boat ("Heyyyy, ocean!" – poor people).

Estimated reading time: 7 min

Recited from kiki

Nico Hoffmann recommended I Re-Watched Titanic So You Don't Have To. You're Welcome. from jezebel.com:

Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio run around the boat in circles for a long time holding hands. I think we're supposed to admire Kate Winslet for having terrific moxie or something, but really all she does is yell about how no one can tell her what to do and then just does whatever Leonardo DiCaprio tells her to do.

Estimated reading time: 7 min

Recited from mareike

Here's the thing about Titanic, and the reason 15-year-old girls love it so much: James Cameron is a 15-year-old girl. All of the characters are either 15-year-old girls in disguise ("Parents just don't understand!" "Waaah, make the boat go faster!" "I know we literally met 20 minutes ago, but I love you with a suicidal fervor!"), or the kind of goofy caricatures that 15-year-old girls would write if we let 15-year-old girls write our blockbuster screenplays. It's She's All That on a Boat, only with Kate Winslet as Freddie Prinze Jr., Leonardo DiCaprio as that girl who isn't famous anymore, an[…]

Estimated reading time: 7 min

somfi Titanic re-watched and re-told. Hilarious!

April 6, 2012 | 0

Here's the thing about Titanic, and the reason 15-year-old girls love it so much: James Cameron is a 15-year-old girl. All of the characters are either 15-year-old girls in disguise ("Parents just don't understand!" "Waaah, make the boat go faster!" "I know we literally met 20 minutes ago, but I love you with a suicidal fervor!"), or the kind of goofy caricatures that 15-year-old girls would write if we let 15-year-old girls write our blockbuster screenplays.

Estimated reading time: 7 min

mnjl Hilarious review of Titanic 3D.

April 9, 2012 | 0

Florian Letsch recommended I Re-Watched Titanic So You Don't Have To. You're Welcome. from jezebel.com:

All of it is incredibly awkward and boring. Then Theoden, King of Rohan, drives the boat into this big iceberg ("Are you calling me fat, James Cameron?" – the iceberg) and the ocean starts coming inside the boat ("Heyyyy, ocean!" – poor people).

Estimated reading time: 7 min

Florian Letsch This woman-celebrity-magazine-blog-thingie re-watched Titanic so we don't have to. Thanks for that. Amusing read.

April 4, 2012 | 0

cinematze recommended I Re-Watched Titanic So You Don't Have To. You're Welcome. from jezebel.com:

Here's the thing about Titanic, and the reason 15-year-old girls love it so much: James Cameron is a 15-year-old girl.

Estimated reading time: 7 min

cinematze It's probably more entertaining to read this text repeatedly for 3h14min than (re-)watch "Titanic" in 3D.

April 11, 2012 | 0

Then Theoden, King of Rohan, drives the boat into this big iceberg ("Are you calling me fat, James Cameron?" – the iceberg) and the ocean starts coming inside the boat ("Heyyyy, ocean!" – poor people).

Estimated reading time: 7 min

kiki kchkchkch

April 10, 2012 | 0

Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio run around the boat in circles for a long time holding hands. I think we're supposed to admire Kate Winslet for having terrific moxie or something, but really all she does is yell about how no one can tell her what to do and then just does whatever Leonardo DiCaprio tells her to do.

Estimated reading time: 7 min